Some days you wake up and it’s only Wednesday when you need a Friday.
Don’t get me wrong, this has been a good week and I love my job and I will write more about how wonderful being here is another day, but today it is Wednesday.
Wednesdays are the worst, I told one housemate this morning, because it feels like there’s still so much week to go but you’ve been already going for a long time.
Wednesdays are worse still the day after meeting all of your students’ parents at an open house that went past your embarrassingly-early bedtime. And worse still when your poor housemate finds out she has typhoid (prayers for her, and that the rest of us don’t come down with it!) and you find yourself thinking that every hiccup is the first symptom of what is sure to be your death.
On Wednesdays, I have a terrible memory.
Thankfully, my sweet students do not.
“Miss H, you said you would make a sign. With those words, for the saber ser? So we wouldn’t forget them. Perseverance and compassion and what was the other ones?”
God speaks through third graders every single day.
Because yesterday when we talked about saber ser and compassion, integrity, respect, and perseverance, one little boy in the front row raised his hand and said, “Miss H, you said perseverance is to keep going and never give up. Last year we used to sing a song like that, like ‘Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.’ About how God’s love perseveres. Is that right?”
And God is saying, “Do you remember?”
Do you remember that night last year, with the snot and the humility? Do you remember hearing this song? You didn’t know then where you would be now, could not have imagined this life for yourself but I knew and I know and I will always remind you.
from a sisterhood retreat for my sorority the fall of my senior year of college.
I had forgotten all about it.
And God said “Do you remember?”
Do you remember writing these words?
“God, I am so afraid to listen to what you have for me because I don’t know what I want. I am so afraid to trust you to do something crazy like go overseas… Continue to lead me in your ways and truth and do not let me stray into selfish plans but show me how to wait well. Make me to know your ways (not mine), O Lord, teach me your paths. Lead me (I don’t know the way) in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation (trustworthy); for you I wait all the day long (I will wait even when I hear nothing).”
Do you realize you knew nothing of Lincoln School, nothing of Guadalajara, not one thought in your mind of moving to Mexico and I was already knitting this together in your heart? Do you see that I remember because I can see the path that led you here and the path that will lead you home and nothing on that path is wasted?
I forget because I doubt the significance of so much.
I want to forget less, to remember more, to see the threads of purpose and connection from one end of my life to the other. And that’s why I need Church, why I am so grateful for church, both nearby and faraway, to support me and remind me.
Not just on Sunday, but on Wednesday too.