it’s hard to think of things that aren’t new at this point in my life. it’s springtime and all the trees and flowers are budding. i just switched student teaching placements and have been flung head first into teaching first grade. it is nearly easter, the celebration and reminder that in God’s grace and wisdom, for God’s glory, i have been and am being made new. i was offered and accepted a real-person job for next year. i’m working on finding a new place to live.
in all of this newness, it’s tempting to look back at the old. it’s tempting to cling to college life, to what i’ve done and to what i know and to drag my feet into the new. while i need to look back and remember God’s provision through these past four years and all the ones that came before, sitting down and digging in my heels will no more stop the new from coming than it will stop the earth from turning.
i’ve been reading about gideon lately. fun fact: he’s my favorite bible character. we’re a lot alike, gideon and i. gideon was not so excited about the future that God had in store for him, requiring sign after sign as proof of God’s identity and purpose. in that way we are somewhat different: i am very much looking forward to what God has in front of me, but i will so miss what he has given me now as well, and in that it is tempting to doubt. even more, it is tempting to trust in myself and ignore God. as it turns out, God knew that gideon would struggle with that.
judges 7:2 says “The LORD said to Gideon, ‘The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.””
i rarely think of my pride as boasting over God, but this passage is clear that that is what i am doing when i claim my own power has accomplished anything. in this story, God goes on to limit gideon to 300 soldiers in order to keep israel from boasting. it is amazing how far God has to go to convince us that his is the power behind our every breath.
in learning from gideon’s mistakes, i am working on resting (can you work on resting? that seems oxymoronic.) in God’s faithfulness. i am learning to trust Him and in trusting, to give him credit for everything he has accomplished in my life, for my good and for His glory. in the new and in the old.