today one little boy in one of my classes walked up to me as he was getting ready to leave and said “so are you like the teacher’s assistant or something?” i laughed and said, “no, honey, i’m a student teacher…” and before i could go on, my mentor teacher chimed in with, “she’s not an assistant! she’s the real deal!” i choke-laughed to show my full disagreement and she emphatically replied with “i’m serious! you’re doing it, girl!”

there are not a lot of things in life that i feel like i’m the “real deal” at. maybe as i get older i’ll have more areas of expertise, but i can probably count on one hand right now the things i really feel proficient at that not everyone else is proficient at as well. at camp, after 12 (or 13, i really can’t remember anymore) years of being a camper and a staff member, i feel like the real deal. i know what is expected of me, i know what i am supposed to be doing, and i know i (with a lot of help from God) can do it. i am comfortable taking on leadership because of my experience.

i’m not sure how i feel about being the real deal teacher. i’ve been a student for so long and this seems like a lot of responsibility and leadership before i feel like the real deal. but i’ve started solo teaching and suddenly i’m thrust into this “real deal” mentality and it’s scary and full and exhausting but you know what? i think i’m going to love this.

i’m excited to develop a new area of proficiency and even maybe someday expertise, but i’m sad to say goodbye for a little while to another. i won’t be honing my real deal camp counselor or archery skills this summer, but staying here in nashville to get ready for what i hope will be a real live real deal teacher job. hopefully. i’ll miss camp this summer but i know there are some wonderful women waiting to step into their role as real deal camp counselors and i hope to be able to come visit, help, and cheer them on at some point this summer. and i can’t wait to see what God has in store for all of us. it’s going to be great.