it’s good friday. i don’t think this comes as a surprise to anyone (except, perhaps, me). i’ve spent the day enjoying beautiful weather and researching, for the most part. most of my friends have gone home/away for the holiday weekend, so i have some quality time to myself to get some serious work done. in order to keep up morale and maximize productivity, i’m letting myself do one fun thing every hour. since the fun thing i did last hour was open a new pack of post-its (the long, lined kind. it was sort of exciting.), i’m letting myself have an extra-long fun thing this hour, and write this blog.

one thing i haven’t spent much time today doing is meditating on what today is all about. i think maybe i’m afraid that if i do, i will see that the things i’m worried about and working towards right now have little eternal significance, and i’ll lose my motivation. but that’s not true- it is not sinful for me to work hard for school. it is not sinful for me to do well in school. however, it is sinful for me to make my schoolwork my god.

anyway. that wasn’t what i wanted to talk about in this post. what i wanted to talk about was a movie i watched two nights ago. i turn on tv reruns or lifetime movies as background noise while i study and do homework. for some reason, speech is significantly less distracting to me than music is- i think because with music, i frequently want to look up lyrics or find similar artists, or if i’m doing music i’m familiar with, end up changing my mind every few songs and getting distracted again. anyway. i had a lifetime movie on in the background while i was working on a lesson plan on wednesday night. it was called Amish Grace and it made me cry. it was the story of the school shooting in the amish community a few years ago.

the part of the movie that struck me the most was the grace and mercy that these people were able to display in the name of Christ. just hours after finding out their own daughters had been shot, members of the amish community went to the home of the shooter and told his wife that they were sorry for her loss, and would love to help her if she needed anything.

i was dumbfounded, watching. i can’t imagine having that much love, humility, and forgiveness towards the family of the murderer of my child.

but today, i celebrate that God has so much more love and humility than even amish people. today we celebrate the day that God offered us forgiveness because we killed his child. the day that God allowed us to murder his only son and loved us just the same.

good friday is an interesting day- a day of mourning, because of the death of Christ. a day of repentance, because we are the ones who made his death necessary. a day of celebration, because we know what happens on sunday.

on good friday, the disciples and followers of Jesus didn’t know what was coming. it wasn’t a day of celebration. it wasn’t a day of grace. it was a day of crushed dreams and everything they had believed in seemingly falling apart. it was a day of the loss of a best friend, a mentor, and a king.

i am so thankful to know how the story ends.