so… its been over a month since i last blogged. crazy! a quick look over the past month includes:
-lots and LOTS of schoolwork
-missions trip to st. louis- super fun!
-lots of fun with rolling hills events
-the development of an obsession with orphans
i don’t think i’ll go into much detail on those- if you’d like to hear more about any of them, i’d love to talk about them 🙂
i also recently applied for an amazing opportunity this summer- i should know by thanksgiving, and i’ll let ya’ll know what the plan for that is.
i go home in less than 12 days! i’m not sure i’ve ever been this excited to go home before- i’m not sure i’ve ever gone this long without seeing my parents, actually. last year i saw them twice second semester even though i didn’t go home at all, and this has felt like a long time. also, i think my bout with swine flu and other various ailments that have plagued me this semester have left me longing for someone to take care of me while i get to be a couch potato :).
the other day, i got to request my classes for next semester. this amazes me. i can’t believe how fast everything goes by. i can’t believe it’s november already. i can’t believe it’s almost thanksgiving! or christmas! i am so beyond excited for christmas though. but i’m not ready for this weather to go away- it’s sunny and delightful and warm (though it’s supposed to rain later this week) and the leaves are beautiful, and everyone is in a great mood.
i think most of all what God’s been teaching me lately is how to not be a Norman (for those of you Sidney and Norman fans out there, that was for you). i’ve realized that my first impulse is so often to judge others, and i have no right to do that. it comes not only from pride, but from insecurity- i want to find self-value wherever i can, and putting other people down (whether in my mind or out loud) makes me feel superior. but it doesn’t last, and it doesn’t really help the problem. the problem is that i still don’t fully believe that God loves me with my faults. i’m used to people liking me because of how good i am, and i try to use that technique with God, but i’m only fooling myself. the amazing thing is that he loves me when i don’t understand his love, he loves me just as much when i try to pretend that i’m not a sinner as when i come humiliated and bruised and show him my mistakes. so, anyway, i’ve been reminded lately that God loves each and every other person just as much as he loves me. and he doesn’t want me to look down on those he loves.
in other news, i’ve been a terrible friend lately to just about everyone, and i’m so sorry. i’m working on it 🙂