sometimes i feel like i’m stuck in an inbetween time in life, where i’m just waiting for life to hurry up and get along and let me do what i REALLY want to be doing. and that’s not to say i’m not loving my time here at vanderbilt- i can hardly imagine anywhere i’d rather be than right here right now. but there are so many things i’m excited for- study abroad in mexico, all the adventures that will come with this winter break and summer vacation, and some day having my own classroom somewhere full of little elementary schoolers eager to learn how to read- and with me to teach them and influence them and help them! i really can’t wait for that. but… being excited about the future doesn’t make life any less real right now while i’m studying for statistics class (actually, that is possibly the easiest and most boring class i’ve ever taken, and requires absolutely no studying). God has a purpose for me right here and right now- even in statistics.
and even when life isn’t as golden and sunny as it is right now, God has a plan for me then too! which sometimes isn’t what i want to hear in those times, as it makes God seem to be cruel and uncaring, when really he is anything but. i’ve recently been learning that my life is not my own- what i want in my life really has nothing to do with what really happens in my life. God’s really in control of all of that. and when i’m willing to admit that and surrender all of my plans and hopes and dreams to him- well, first of all, it means that God’s in control and i don’t have to worry about, well, anything anymore! and second of all, things usually work out better his way anyway.
so whether i will someday be an elementary school teacher or a shelf stocker at wal mart or a biomedical engineer or a bell ringer is entirely up to God, and i’d like to say i’ll follow his will, regardless of what it is, but honestly, i know it’s something i will struggle with almost as often as i succeed in seeking out his will.
so, for those of you out there facing a good time in your life, remember- God has a plan for you! i sincerely hope you’re striving to follow it. for those of you in an in-between time, remember- God has a plan for this exact time in your life! don’t waste a moment- God has created each one with a specific and perfect purpose. and for those of you in a not-so-hot time in your life, remember- God has a plan for this time too! and it’s not because he hates you or wants the worst for you that you’re going through this. in fact it’s just the opposite- God loves you so much more than you can imagine, and he knows exactly why you are going through this for your greater good.
with that, i’m going to go finish watching the sound of music 🙂