its been a while since ive updated so… lifes been pretty good, not too much new… schools almost over and i cant believe it. im going to chicago this weekend to visit wheaton and see lisa (yay!) and ellie (yay!)… and then next weekend going to boston to visit gordon and mt holyoke and bc and katy (yay!) and maybe laudi (yay!). and the week after that is SAT’s then AP exams… lifes CRAZY! but i love it.

i feel like ive been being more ‘real’ lately, like… more saying what i really feel… even if that means getting mad sometimes and getting sad sometimes. honestly, in the past year up until this month, i cried a grand total of 2 times. which is, in fact, less than my twin brother cried. im just not a big crier. but then these past few weeks, little things have been making me cry. really nothing to do with me, but more crying for other people… like the other day, one of my friends was really hurting and i started to cry for her. and then today, i was looking at the paper and there was a picture of a couple at virginia tech walking out holding each other with so much hurt in their eyes from what they had just seen… and i just started to cry. lifes been great! i have nothing to cry about, but i think this crying is good. i think its breaking down some walls ive had up for a long time.

someone told me last week that i was one of the strongest people they knew. i like that, but id rather be able to be weak sometimes too.

i also feel like god has been a lot more real to me these past few weeks… a couple of weeks ago, i knew he was telling me to give something up that i was having difficulty doing, and so i was being stubborn about it… and finally he took it away from me. at first, it was really hard and i didnt understand, but now i can see that i knew he wanted me to follow his plan, and im beginning to see how much more wonderful his plan is for me than my plan was.

so all in all, life is sweet. miss you all, camps not too far away!
~Rach

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